Hola Everyone!
Before I say anything else, I just want to give every single one of you a huge hug and a big kiss on the cheek for all of the incredibly comforting e-mails and comments. I do not think you can imagine how the words you send brighten my day everytime they are received. You I realize that even though a large part of me is incredibly envious of the girls around me that are enjoying every minute of their Spanish experience without looking back at the life they left behind, I feel incredibly grateful that I left behind a life full of such incredible people that I cannot but help and miss it regardless of the fact that I'm in Spain. So I guess before I talk about anything else, all I have to say is a huge thank you. Thank you for giving me something in my life to miss.
I think the biggest problem that I'm having is that I'm trying too hard...I want to have Spanish friends, I want to be out seeing everything and anything, I want to form a friendship halfway across the world that will last forever...I just need to sit back and let life pass me by...something, unfortunately, that I've never been very good at doing. It bothers me that perhaps I will have to leave here not missing anything that I leave behind, but to worry about the fact that I will still be miserable for the next 3 months will do nothing but act as a self fulfilling prophecy. I'm not sure what it is that God is trying to show me through this experience...why it is that anytime I go to the mosque, I find it empty of people...why it is that somehow I'm the only one in the ISA group that has not managed to forge friendships with the locals...but I know that there is something incredibly enlightening to learn from all of this. The problem is that I'm having trouble learning it. What I need to do is sit back and not look for it. Let it come to me.
This weekend I went with a group of girls to Malaga. It was an incredibly beautiful city! I kind of wished that I had gone there to study abroad...the beach was incredible and the whole city had a very casual feel to it. We had tons of fun hanging out on the beach, eating at one of the most amazing restaurants I've ever eaten at, and I must admit that I even had fun walking up the freaking side of a mountain to get a beautiful view of the city of Malaga.
One thing that I am majorly annoyed by in Spain is the men. For some reason, their mothers didn't teach them any manners. I cannot count the times that I am whistled at, invited to dinner, and called "morena guapa" (translation: morena: someone that has dark skin and hair; guapa: good looking/beautiful) It might be slightly flattering the first time but after that you realize that it is not done to compliment you...it's done because the men here are disgusting and have nothing to do but stare at women and pass vulgar comments. I have gotten to a point where I can turn my ears off to their nonsense, but it still continues to annoy me...MUCHO.
A positive experience in my struggle to find my place in Spain is that upon arriving in Granda from a weekend in Malaga I felt the same feeling that I feel when I return home from a trip. It was the feeling of comfort and relief to be "back home". At that moment I realized that I really am living my life here...I'm not just a tourist for 4 months...this is "home" for me. Granada is the city where I am slowly beginning to recognize the people in the neighborhood where I live...it is the place where I walk past the same buildings and shops everyday...it is the city where I can walk through the street with every step becoming increasingly more confident at knowing its way around.
Today I met with the Spanish girls that I met in the intercambios. They are girls that are much quieter than I am, but they are both very sweet. I joined them and some other girls from the ISA group while they had lunch and we walked around Granada, stopping in some cute clothing stores, and finally stopping for them to get ice cream. Of course it was difficult to be fasting and see the ice cream in front of me, but not to worry! I will go back and get some at sunset :D.
I will be leaving for my trip to Paris, Geneva, Interlaken, Rome, and Venice in approximately 48 hours! I am so very excited!!! While it is true that I haven't spent a lot of time with Andrea, Angela, and Kyla (the 3 girls I'll be going with), the little time that we have spent together has confirmed the fact that they are three wonderful girls with whom I'll be having one of the greatest experiences of my life. I hope that we see it all and that when it's all over I can look back at it and realize that it happened in reality and that it was not a dream.
After we get back from this 10 day trip, we will be leaving for Morrocco within 2 days. The Morrocco trip is one that I am the most excited for! The way the ISA directors were describing it, it seems to be another version of Pakistan (which I adore). Also, we will be doing amazing things like sleeping in the desert, able to see the twinkling of every star that has always been hidden behind the sheen of city lights. We will be waking up early to ride camels to see the sunrise over rolling sand dunes. Needless to say that the experience will be one to remember!
Before all of this I have to do a presentation in Spanish, write a 600 word essay (in Spanish as well), and most importantly and most stressful figure out how I will complete my SURF research grant proposal, sitting here halfway across the world. Please keep commenting.
With much love,
A stressed out me
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
Abandonment
I'm not quite sure what has been happening to me for the past few days, but it seems that my homesickness increases a thousand fold everyday. Last night I was unable to fall asleep as the faces of my parents and friends swam before me as I lay in bed with my eyes shut. I constantly am aware of a part of my heart that feels completely empty. What I have kept asking myself since I've been here is why it is that when I went to Pakistan alone I was not homesick...why it is that when I went to the university and lived on campus I was not homesick... Amidst all of these thoughts I realized that while the absence of my parents and my friends is a major reason for the constant sickness I feel within me, it is more the absence of any aspect of who I am...a Pakistani. The other girls around me are American through and through and while being American does compose a large part of my identity, there is a half of me, if not more, that identifies itself as a complete Pakistani.
I have not eaten Pakistani food for one month. I have not watched a Hindi movie for one month. I have not listened to a Hindi song for one month. These are all things that I did on almost a daily basis in the states. All of these things...all of these things piling on top of each other make me realize that within this country I have lost all connection to my culture. While those around me still have others to reach to, others to relate to in discussing their identities...I have no one. There is no one with whom I can share the horror that is unfolding in Pakistani politics...there is no one with which I can discuss the latest Bollywood movies...there is absolutely no one to keep the Pakistani side of me from putting itself in a corner and crying out of abandonment.
Put all of this together with the fact that it is Ramadan, the equivalent of Christmas time. I have no one with whom I can share one of the most important times of the year. I have always enjoyed the smells of my mother frying pakora when the fast is about to open...the groans of waking up early in the morning to eat before the sun rose...all of those things I have nothing of...not even a little bit. There is no person here that is Pakistani or Indian. There is nothing here that I can do to keep that part of whom I am alive...and it is quickly boring a hole in my being.
I know that we study abroad to learn about another culture...to truly immerse yourself...but I cannot but help to feel jealous of the others when they are able to discuss things from back home that they miss...to relate to each other's lives in America. I would like to have that and I miss it desperately.
On top of all of that, I have always been a person that has needed to have one or two best friends. The way large groups work in friendship has never been attractive to me...I have always chosen the intimacy of a cup of tea or coffee with one rather than sitting in a large group. Here due to the distance of my house from everyone else's (I am pretty much the only one of the group that lives in the Carretera de Sierra Nevada area), I have not been able to find my one best friend...that one person to keep me anchored amidst this churning ocean around me.
I feel horrible...so very angry at myself for having spent almost a month of this experience in such misery. I feel angry for allowing myself to be one of those people that could not live away from the life I loved so much for even 4 months. I am trying very hard to love being here...to fear the day that I have to get on the plane and say "Adios" to Espana. As of now, I simply go to bed thinking "one more day down".
With much love,
An empty me
I have not eaten Pakistani food for one month. I have not watched a Hindi movie for one month. I have not listened to a Hindi song for one month. These are all things that I did on almost a daily basis in the states. All of these things...all of these things piling on top of each other make me realize that within this country I have lost all connection to my culture. While those around me still have others to reach to, others to relate to in discussing their identities...I have no one. There is no one with whom I can share the horror that is unfolding in Pakistani politics...there is no one with which I can discuss the latest Bollywood movies...there is absolutely no one to keep the Pakistani side of me from putting itself in a corner and crying out of abandonment.
Put all of this together with the fact that it is Ramadan, the equivalent of Christmas time. I have no one with whom I can share one of the most important times of the year. I have always enjoyed the smells of my mother frying pakora when the fast is about to open...the groans of waking up early in the morning to eat before the sun rose...all of those things I have nothing of...not even a little bit. There is no person here that is Pakistani or Indian. There is nothing here that I can do to keep that part of whom I am alive...and it is quickly boring a hole in my being.
I know that we study abroad to learn about another culture...to truly immerse yourself...but I cannot but help to feel jealous of the others when they are able to discuss things from back home that they miss...to relate to each other's lives in America. I would like to have that and I miss it desperately.
On top of all of that, I have always been a person that has needed to have one or two best friends. The way large groups work in friendship has never been attractive to me...I have always chosen the intimacy of a cup of tea or coffee with one rather than sitting in a large group. Here due to the distance of my house from everyone else's (I am pretty much the only one of the group that lives in the Carretera de Sierra Nevada area), I have not been able to find my one best friend...that one person to keep me anchored amidst this churning ocean around me.
I feel horrible...so very angry at myself for having spent almost a month of this experience in such misery. I feel angry for allowing myself to be one of those people that could not live away from the life I loved so much for even 4 months. I am trying very hard to love being here...to fear the day that I have to get on the plane and say "Adios" to Espana. As of now, I simply go to bed thinking "one more day down".
With much love,
An empty me
Thursday, September 18, 2008
On and On it Goes...
Hola All!
First of all, a senora update. Ever since Titi and Noelia (ISA Directors) have talked to my senora she has been so nice to me! She talks to me for hours during dinner and tells me all about her life in Paris. It's actually very interesting. She used to work as a cook and maid for a very wealthy woman in Paris and she told me that on many a occasion she would meet royalty! What I'm the happiest about is the fact that I use my blow dryer and my light without being yelled at (for 2 days anyways)!!! STILL, those are 2 days of peace that I have not had yet. I'm just optimistic that the situation will get better day by day...we'll see *crosses fingers*
The exciting news is that before where I could only understand 40% of what was being said to me by my senora, now I can understand 90%! It's so nice to actually know what it is that she is saying to me. I still have no idea what she's talking about when she's talking to her family, but when she talks to me, I can respond, and that's all that matters. I am frustrated with how my Spanish speaking skills are developing (or not developing). I definitely think there is some improvement...but that improvement is incredibly miniscule. I suppose my expectations for how much my Spanish would develop here were way to high because I know for sure that there is no way that I will be fluent by the time that I get back :(. Everyday is a struggle, but the itsy bitsy improvement keeps me going.
I still miss home A LOT. I keep waiting for the feeling to fade, but as I've said before, I don't think that it ever will...it will just become a natural part of the next 3 months and 1 week that I have here. I just hope that time flies once the actual semester gets started so that I'm in Pakistan with baba before I know it! It'll be so good to go home to Arkansas and hug mama, eat a huge plate full of biryani, and speak a language I actually can speak fluently!
I've started to read more than I have had the opportunity to for the past 3 or 4 years of my life (unfortunately the burden of assigned reading has been too much for me to balance a life of both pleasure and mandatory reading). It used to be one of my favorite things to do and I am rediscovering the peace that it brought me.
Currently I'm reading the Kite Runner which I should have read way before now. It's a very difficult book to read and there are many times that I feel myself getting sick to my stomach and crying at the story told. It's a book that I would like to put back on the shelf and never read...to walk away from...but I know getting through the book, accomplishing the task of forcing myself to be acquanted with the evil nature of man described within its pages, will at the end make me a better person. This is what I miss about reading...it changes you...it allows to experience things that perhaps no one in this world has ever experienced...even through the fiction, you learn and you grow. The power of words and a good storyteller will always amaze me.
This weekend I will be going to Malaga and Nerja with a group of the girls. Malaga is a coastal city about 2 hours from Granada. We will be going on Saturday, staying the night, and then taking a bus to Nerja. Nerja is an incredibly famous beach here and I know I won't have opportunity to visit until November (and who wants to go to a beach then anyways!). It's also known for its caves. Don't worry...I'll take loads of pictures like always and put them here with the rest of my pictures.
OH and another thing that has happened. We had the intercambios that I wrote about earlier. I was slightly disappointed at the fact that 3 of the people I was "intercambioing" with were not students. Don't get me wrong..they were really nice, but they were definitely older and I must admit that they were not the type of people I would have chosen for myself. There was one girl that I liked very much, however. Her name is Rita and I will be calling her up soon. The only problem is that I can't ask to meet her for coffee or something to eat because it's Ramadan..and well I can't eat or drink! Anywho...I hope I can make some Spanish friends so I'm not talking in English all the time with everyone.
I love hearing from you guys so please keep in touch...whether that be by facebook, e-mail (aismail@uark.edu), or just by commenting on my posts/pictures.
OH by the way...only one week from tomorrow and I'm on my way to Paris..weeeeeeeeee!
With much love,
A restless me
First of all, a senora update. Ever since Titi and Noelia (ISA Directors) have talked to my senora she has been so nice to me! She talks to me for hours during dinner and tells me all about her life in Paris. It's actually very interesting. She used to work as a cook and maid for a very wealthy woman in Paris and she told me that on many a occasion she would meet royalty! What I'm the happiest about is the fact that I use my blow dryer and my light without being yelled at (for 2 days anyways)!!! STILL, those are 2 days of peace that I have not had yet. I'm just optimistic that the situation will get better day by day...we'll see *crosses fingers*
The exciting news is that before where I could only understand 40% of what was being said to me by my senora, now I can understand 90%! It's so nice to actually know what it is that she is saying to me. I still have no idea what she's talking about when she's talking to her family, but when she talks to me, I can respond, and that's all that matters. I am frustrated with how my Spanish speaking skills are developing (or not developing). I definitely think there is some improvement...but that improvement is incredibly miniscule. I suppose my expectations for how much my Spanish would develop here were way to high because I know for sure that there is no way that I will be fluent by the time that I get back :(. Everyday is a struggle, but the itsy bitsy improvement keeps me going.
I still miss home A LOT. I keep waiting for the feeling to fade, but as I've said before, I don't think that it ever will...it will just become a natural part of the next 3 months and 1 week that I have here. I just hope that time flies once the actual semester gets started so that I'm in Pakistan with baba before I know it! It'll be so good to go home to Arkansas and hug mama, eat a huge plate full of biryani, and speak a language I actually can speak fluently!
I've started to read more than I have had the opportunity to for the past 3 or 4 years of my life (unfortunately the burden of assigned reading has been too much for me to balance a life of both pleasure and mandatory reading). It used to be one of my favorite things to do and I am rediscovering the peace that it brought me.
Currently I'm reading the Kite Runner which I should have read way before now. It's a very difficult book to read and there are many times that I feel myself getting sick to my stomach and crying at the story told. It's a book that I would like to put back on the shelf and never read...to walk away from...but I know getting through the book, accomplishing the task of forcing myself to be acquanted with the evil nature of man described within its pages, will at the end make me a better person. This is what I miss about reading...it changes you...it allows to experience things that perhaps no one in this world has ever experienced...even through the fiction, you learn and you grow. The power of words and a good storyteller will always amaze me.
This weekend I will be going to Malaga and Nerja with a group of the girls. Malaga is a coastal city about 2 hours from Granada. We will be going on Saturday, staying the night, and then taking a bus to Nerja. Nerja is an incredibly famous beach here and I know I won't have opportunity to visit until November (and who wants to go to a beach then anyways!). It's also known for its caves. Don't worry...I'll take loads of pictures like always and put them here with the rest of my pictures.
OH and another thing that has happened. We had the intercambios that I wrote about earlier. I was slightly disappointed at the fact that 3 of the people I was "intercambioing" with were not students. Don't get me wrong..they were really nice, but they were definitely older and I must admit that they were not the type of people I would have chosen for myself. There was one girl that I liked very much, however. Her name is Rita and I will be calling her up soon. The only problem is that I can't ask to meet her for coffee or something to eat because it's Ramadan..and well I can't eat or drink! Anywho...I hope I can make some Spanish friends so I'm not talking in English all the time with everyone.
I love hearing from you guys so please keep in touch...whether that be by facebook, e-mail (aismail@uark.edu), or just by commenting on my posts/pictures.
OH by the way...only one week from tomorrow and I'm on my way to Paris..weeeeeeeeee!
With much love,
A restless me
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
I Got Picked Last...Will it Happen Again!?!?!
Hola all!
Today is the day that we will be meeting our intercambios. Intercambios are Spaniards that want to practice their English so they meet with us once or twice a week (depending on how nice they are/how much they like us) and it's a way for us to practice our Spanish and make a Spanish friend while they get to practice their English. The way I understand the set up is that it's going to be kind of like...well kind of like speed dating! We're supposed to meet with all of these people and the ones that we get along with, we exchange information with and that's our intercambio. The thing is that somehow in such activities I always get picked last...and in this case, what if I don't get picked at all!??! I still remember 5th grade PE being picked last for soccer...by my best friend...when it was just me and a kid with a broken leg left to choose between. I KNOW! How horrible, right? Anyways, I hope my intercambio is much nicer than my senora has been and that we become "fast friends" as they say here.
I finally went to the ISA people and put my foot down about my senora. They called her and she said that I'm a love guest and that she doesn't have any problem with me. Most importantly, I have been given permission to use my hair dryer again. She apologized for freaking out about it and said that I could use it if I made sure that my hair was nicely towel dried before hand. YES! I don't have to go to bed with my hair wet...what a relief! I just hope that she continues on this one day nice streak and that I stop feeling miserable about something or another that she does. The good news is that she does make amazing food. She leaves me what she makes for lunch for sahri (the meal Muslims eat before sunrise during Ramadan)....the only thing that is difficult to deal with is the hot dogs, frozen pizza, and french fries I'm forced to eat for dinner when the sunsets. Even worse...I'm fed these things right after I come back from the gym! Apparently, they don't believe in cooking a dinner in Spain.
Speaking of the gym, I love the people that run it. It's a really small gym but it's conveniently located right below the apartment where I live. The lady that runs it is very nice and I usually tell her all about my day while I'm working out. She walks around and tells me what I should do just like a personal trainer! It's probably the most Spanish I speak here :(.
I have been discussing with the people around me the fact that I speak MORE English than I spoke in the states. In the states atleast I speak in Hindi and Urdu...not here...it's Spanish for 10% of my day and English for 90% of my day. I'm hoping my intercambio isn't as bad as my senora and he/she hangs out with me and is my best friend!!!! (not to sound creepy or anything) Hopefully I just get PICKED at this speed dating ordeal.
Anyways I continue to miss home, but I'm falling more and more into a routine in which missing home is just another part of my day. I have 2 weeks of classes left before the intensive month is over and I go to France, Switzerland, and Italy (another topic of stress as we have yet to book hostels or anything for the trip except plane tickets!) I hope things are going well for you all! Just continue to comment :)
Much love,
A nervous me
Today is the day that we will be meeting our intercambios. Intercambios are Spaniards that want to practice their English so they meet with us once or twice a week (depending on how nice they are/how much they like us) and it's a way for us to practice our Spanish and make a Spanish friend while they get to practice their English. The way I understand the set up is that it's going to be kind of like...well kind of like speed dating! We're supposed to meet with all of these people and the ones that we get along with, we exchange information with and that's our intercambio. The thing is that somehow in such activities I always get picked last...and in this case, what if I don't get picked at all!??! I still remember 5th grade PE being picked last for soccer...by my best friend...when it was just me and a kid with a broken leg left to choose between. I KNOW! How horrible, right? Anyways, I hope my intercambio is much nicer than my senora has been and that we become "fast friends" as they say here.
I finally went to the ISA people and put my foot down about my senora. They called her and she said that I'm a love guest and that she doesn't have any problem with me. Most importantly, I have been given permission to use my hair dryer again. She apologized for freaking out about it and said that I could use it if I made sure that my hair was nicely towel dried before hand. YES! I don't have to go to bed with my hair wet...what a relief! I just hope that she continues on this one day nice streak and that I stop feeling miserable about something or another that she does. The good news is that she does make amazing food. She leaves me what she makes for lunch for sahri (the meal Muslims eat before sunrise during Ramadan)....the only thing that is difficult to deal with is the hot dogs, frozen pizza, and french fries I'm forced to eat for dinner when the sunsets. Even worse...I'm fed these things right after I come back from the gym! Apparently, they don't believe in cooking a dinner in Spain.
Speaking of the gym, I love the people that run it. It's a really small gym but it's conveniently located right below the apartment where I live. The lady that runs it is very nice and I usually tell her all about my day while I'm working out. She walks around and tells me what I should do just like a personal trainer! It's probably the most Spanish I speak here :(.
I have been discussing with the people around me the fact that I speak MORE English than I spoke in the states. In the states atleast I speak in Hindi and Urdu...not here...it's Spanish for 10% of my day and English for 90% of my day. I'm hoping my intercambio isn't as bad as my senora and he/she hangs out with me and is my best friend!!!! (not to sound creepy or anything) Hopefully I just get PICKED at this speed dating ordeal.
Anyways I continue to miss home, but I'm falling more and more into a routine in which missing home is just another part of my day. I have 2 weeks of classes left before the intensive month is over and I go to France, Switzerland, and Italy (another topic of stress as we have yet to book hostels or anything for the trip except plane tickets!) I hope things are going well for you all! Just continue to comment :)
Much love,
A nervous me
Sunday, September 14, 2008
A Weekend of Rock Concerts and Crying
Hola All!
Well I´ll start with the horrible stories of my senora first (get the depressing out of the way). I talked to her last week and told her I was uber stressed out by her constantly yelling at me about everything (minus breathing which I´m sure I will be getting yelled at for doing sometime soon as well). She was soooooo nice to me for...well for 4 whole days.
Yesterday night I was blow drying my hair and had just turned my blow dryer off when she told me to turn it on again. I did and she left. When she came back she announced in a very nonchalant matter that I was not allowed to use the blow dryer anymore because it consumed more energy than ¨the microwave, the iron, the fridge, and the washing machine put together.¨ Now I am NOT a confrontational type of person but at this point I was FED UP with her. I told her that I had asked the ISA directors if I could use a blow dryer and they had said yes (which was absolute fact). She told me in return that the ISA directors weren´t going to be the ones paying the electricity bill! THEN she has the NERVE to list all of the things she does for me...one call a day, one shower a day, 3 meals a day, an iron once a week...okay now is it just me, or does that sound like I´m living in prison!?!?!?! Anyways I just BURST out crying after this whole charade. Now for many of you this is me being vain and obsessing over a blow dryer, but the thing is that she expects me to sleep at night, keep my window open so she doesn´t have to turn the air conditioner on, and not get sick with wet hair!?!? On top of everything I´ve compromised with absolutely no access to internet in less than a 30 minute walk, taking 2 minute showers, never using the light in my room, and talking to the people that gave me birth for less than 15 minutes everyday. I´m sorry, but I am not taking this anymore. After all of this she has the nerve to tell me that she´s not an ogre and that in reality I´m lucky to have a senora like her because the other girls get stuck with senoras that don´t let them do anything!!!! She continues to say that me crying confirms the fact that I´m an American that is spoiled with the comforts of life. Yes everyone...she actually has the nerve to try reverse psychology on me. Well basically I walked away from the situation when she paused in conversation (I wasn´t rude enough to walk away from her while she was talking). She then comes into my room and says that she´s sorry that I can´t use my blow dryer and asks me if I´m mad at her and whether she should be able to sleep in peace at night. I wanted to scream NO, but like I said, I am NOT a confrontational person. I just nodded my way through the conversation which ended in her trying to get me to give her a kiss.
I am talking to the directors on Monday. I refuse to live in her house if I can´t even use my blow dryer. It is the ONLY appliance that I use for energy and I use it for less than 5 minutes a day. Wet hair annoys me and I´ve compromised everything else that I could at this point. I won´t use it for 15 minutes, but I do not think 5 minutes a day is asking for too much.
All I have to say is that I miss my family more than ever. I am again back to walking the streets of Granada alone in attempt to avoid going back to my house. I keep rewinding my life and trying to figure out where I really messed up to deserve the ONLY senora in the entire program that is being mean. It´s been officially a month since I´ve been away (2 weeks in Granada, 2 weeks in England) and I still am not feeling the "I never want to leave this place" feeling yet. Thank God that the girls in the program with me are nothing but supportive and give me hugs and listen to me rant about my senora. For any of you reading this, I love you TONS.
Moving on to other aspects of my life...I bought my tickets to France, Switzerland, and Italy and I am ready to go! We still have to find all of our accomodations and decide what we will do at every place, but the plane tickets are bought meaning we are officially going!!! The plan is that I will be in France, Switzerland, and Italy for 10 days, come back to classes for 2 days, leave for Morocco for 5 days, come back for 3 days, and then go to Barcelona for 3 days. After that I´m thinking of doing another 4 day weekend trip to either Greece, Ireland, or Germany. Any suggestions guys on which one to choose?
This weekend was the festival of Zaidin, a region of Granada. Some of the hottest rock and pop bands of Spain came to play and I had sooooo much fun! I think it was my first experience of how the Spanish live. We didn´t actually leave for the festival until 12:30 at night and it didn´t end until 4:30 or 5:30 in the morning. The thing was that everyone was there with their little kids (it was a rock concert/fair type thing). I´ll be uploading pictures tomorrow (Monday) so you all can see them. I had tons of fun and I think I need to go out and buy cds for all the bands that I heard.
Also, I´ve taken two walking tours with the University of Granada. One was of Granada in the baroque period and the other was of the region of Sacromonte, the region of Granada where the gypsies live. Pictures for those will be going up as well.
Tomorrow classes start again and again I start my school life here. It still hasn´t clicked in my mind that I am going to school in Granada, Spain. I still feel that I´m here on vacation. The thing is that we have intensive language classes for 4 hours everyday and really don´t have tests or quizes or anything yet. At maximum we get 30 minutes of homework. This intensive language course will end on the 26th of September. My real classes will start on October 8th which I am nervous about. It seems like forever that I´ve had to worry about exams and keeping up with my classes. I will be taking Islamic culture in Spain, present day Spain and Islam, a mandatory speaking and writing skills course, Spanish literature 20th century, and Spanish art history.
I will be posting more this week so keep checking! I love reading your comments so keep leaving them.
Much love,
A frustrated me
Well I´ll start with the horrible stories of my senora first (get the depressing out of the way). I talked to her last week and told her I was uber stressed out by her constantly yelling at me about everything (minus breathing which I´m sure I will be getting yelled at for doing sometime soon as well). She was soooooo nice to me for...well for 4 whole days.
Yesterday night I was blow drying my hair and had just turned my blow dryer off when she told me to turn it on again. I did and she left. When she came back she announced in a very nonchalant matter that I was not allowed to use the blow dryer anymore because it consumed more energy than ¨the microwave, the iron, the fridge, and the washing machine put together.¨ Now I am NOT a confrontational type of person but at this point I was FED UP with her. I told her that I had asked the ISA directors if I could use a blow dryer and they had said yes (which was absolute fact). She told me in return that the ISA directors weren´t going to be the ones paying the electricity bill! THEN she has the NERVE to list all of the things she does for me...one call a day, one shower a day, 3 meals a day, an iron once a week...okay now is it just me, or does that sound like I´m living in prison!?!?!?! Anyways I just BURST out crying after this whole charade. Now for many of you this is me being vain and obsessing over a blow dryer, but the thing is that she expects me to sleep at night, keep my window open so she doesn´t have to turn the air conditioner on, and not get sick with wet hair!?!? On top of everything I´ve compromised with absolutely no access to internet in less than a 30 minute walk, taking 2 minute showers, never using the light in my room, and talking to the people that gave me birth for less than 15 minutes everyday. I´m sorry, but I am not taking this anymore. After all of this she has the nerve to tell me that she´s not an ogre and that in reality I´m lucky to have a senora like her because the other girls get stuck with senoras that don´t let them do anything!!!! She continues to say that me crying confirms the fact that I´m an American that is spoiled with the comforts of life. Yes everyone...she actually has the nerve to try reverse psychology on me. Well basically I walked away from the situation when she paused in conversation (I wasn´t rude enough to walk away from her while she was talking). She then comes into my room and says that she´s sorry that I can´t use my blow dryer and asks me if I´m mad at her and whether she should be able to sleep in peace at night. I wanted to scream NO, but like I said, I am NOT a confrontational person. I just nodded my way through the conversation which ended in her trying to get me to give her a kiss.
I am talking to the directors on Monday. I refuse to live in her house if I can´t even use my blow dryer. It is the ONLY appliance that I use for energy and I use it for less than 5 minutes a day. Wet hair annoys me and I´ve compromised everything else that I could at this point. I won´t use it for 15 minutes, but I do not think 5 minutes a day is asking for too much.
All I have to say is that I miss my family more than ever. I am again back to walking the streets of Granada alone in attempt to avoid going back to my house. I keep rewinding my life and trying to figure out where I really messed up to deserve the ONLY senora in the entire program that is being mean. It´s been officially a month since I´ve been away (2 weeks in Granada, 2 weeks in England) and I still am not feeling the "I never want to leave this place" feeling yet. Thank God that the girls in the program with me are nothing but supportive and give me hugs and listen to me rant about my senora. For any of you reading this, I love you TONS.
Moving on to other aspects of my life...I bought my tickets to France, Switzerland, and Italy and I am ready to go! We still have to find all of our accomodations and decide what we will do at every place, but the plane tickets are bought meaning we are officially going!!! The plan is that I will be in France, Switzerland, and Italy for 10 days, come back to classes for 2 days, leave for Morocco for 5 days, come back for 3 days, and then go to Barcelona for 3 days. After that I´m thinking of doing another 4 day weekend trip to either Greece, Ireland, or Germany. Any suggestions guys on which one to choose?
This weekend was the festival of Zaidin, a region of Granada. Some of the hottest rock and pop bands of Spain came to play and I had sooooo much fun! I think it was my first experience of how the Spanish live. We didn´t actually leave for the festival until 12:30 at night and it didn´t end until 4:30 or 5:30 in the morning. The thing was that everyone was there with their little kids (it was a rock concert/fair type thing). I´ll be uploading pictures tomorrow (Monday) so you all can see them. I had tons of fun and I think I need to go out and buy cds for all the bands that I heard.
Also, I´ve taken two walking tours with the University of Granada. One was of Granada in the baroque period and the other was of the region of Sacromonte, the region of Granada where the gypsies live. Pictures for those will be going up as well.
Tomorrow classes start again and again I start my school life here. It still hasn´t clicked in my mind that I am going to school in Granada, Spain. I still feel that I´m here on vacation. The thing is that we have intensive language classes for 4 hours everyday and really don´t have tests or quizes or anything yet. At maximum we get 30 minutes of homework. This intensive language course will end on the 26th of September. My real classes will start on October 8th which I am nervous about. It seems like forever that I´ve had to worry about exams and keeping up with my classes. I will be taking Islamic culture in Spain, present day Spain and Islam, a mandatory speaking and writing skills course, Spanish literature 20th century, and Spanish art history.
I will be posting more this week so keep checking! I love reading your comments so keep leaving them.
Much love,
A frustrated me
Friday, September 12, 2008
MY EXCITING PLANS
Hola everyone!
Sorry for not posting all week, but I have been too busy planning a very exciting trip that I will be taking...(imagine drumroll please)... to Paris, France, Geneva, Switzerland, and Rome and Venice in Italy! I´m so excited!!!! Actually at the moment the ticket finding and purchasing process paired with the long labor of finding hostels and other places to stay is kind of stressful...but still! All of the Bollywood movies I´ve seen have made me so excited about Switzerland. The let down of not being able to find Abhishek Bachan there will be a great one, but I think that I will still have a good time ;). We will be having a 10 day break from September 26 to October 6 before the semester begins so that´s going to be what I´m doing with 3 other girls.
Good news!!!! My senora is soooooo nice to me. I talked to her and told her that I was stressed out by her yelling at me and then she said that she never yells and that I shouldn´t be stressed (I rolled my eyes...inside my head because I know that she DOES yell). Anyways, she hasn´t yelled at me for 4 whole days and I´m hoping that the fun continues.
The office is about to close so I can´t write anymore. I promise to post on Monday and to add tons of pictures from the rock music festival I´m going to be going to all weekend.
With much love,
A excited/stressed me
Sorry for not posting all week, but I have been too busy planning a very exciting trip that I will be taking...(imagine drumroll please)... to Paris, France, Geneva, Switzerland, and Rome and Venice in Italy! I´m so excited!!!! Actually at the moment the ticket finding and purchasing process paired with the long labor of finding hostels and other places to stay is kind of stressful...but still! All of the Bollywood movies I´ve seen have made me so excited about Switzerland. The let down of not being able to find Abhishek Bachan there will be a great one, but I think that I will still have a good time ;). We will be having a 10 day break from September 26 to October 6 before the semester begins so that´s going to be what I´m doing with 3 other girls.
Good news!!!! My senora is soooooo nice to me. I talked to her and told her that I was stressed out by her yelling at me and then she said that she never yells and that I shouldn´t be stressed (I rolled my eyes...inside my head because I know that she DOES yell). Anyways, she hasn´t yelled at me for 4 whole days and I´m hoping that the fun continues.
The office is about to close so I can´t write anymore. I promise to post on Monday and to add tons of pictures from the rock music festival I´m going to be going to all weekend.
With much love,
A excited/stressed me
Monday, September 8, 2008
Struggling With My Senora :(
So it's officially been a week in Granada and I feel as though I've been here for months and months. The experience is definitely not turning out to be as I hoped it would be. The senora with whom I'm staying is some sort of crazy woman that yells at me for everything that I do. I'm not allowed to flush the toilet...and when I don't...she yells at me saying that I DO need to flush the toilet. I'm not allowed to turn the light on until it is about 9 PM...needless to say that it starts getting dark around 7 and I have to struggle to walk in my own room because if I turn the light on for even one minute I get yelled at. Yesterday was REALLY the last straw. The first day I arrived I asked her specifically if my parents could call at her home. She said that would be fine and when I asked her for a time limit she said there was none until the other two girls arrived in October. I reconfirmed that statement, but yesterday she banged on my door as I was talking to my parents and told me that I had been talking for 30 minutes already and it was way too long! I'm so insecure with my language speaking abilities and pair this with a horribly mean woman standing in front of you and you get an incredibly stressed out and depressed me. I talked to David, one of the directors, about it and he said that if I could get through this period than she would take me in as her own and really be nice...the thing is that I'm not sure that I can get THROUGH this period. Apparently she's been hosting kids for 12 years and she has always been like this initially. I don't know...all I know is that it makes me cry and I'm afraid to move one inch in fear of getting yelled at. Please pray that she gets nicer and stops yelling at me because the way things are going now the rest of the 3 months and 3 weeks are going to be comparable to hell.
On a brighter note, I went to the beach this weekend! I think it's one of the nicest, most beach like experiences I've ever had! Anytime I've gone to the beach with my family it's somehow been rainy or dirty or something or another. Not this time! The Mediteranean was absolutely beautiuful...no seaweed, crystal blue, and very very cold. I've uploaded pictures on my picasa page so check them out!
http://picasaweb.google.com/howdyimamen
Also, I spent my first Friday night out until 2 AM! No no, I didn't do anything crazy. We just ate ice cream, walked around, had some tapas, and went and talked at a tea room where I had a cup of PAKISTANI TEA! I miss tea so much here...and I really miss seeing people that are brown like me. Even in Arkansas there were more of us than there are here. Good news is that I found a random Pakistani man working in a shop and I had a long intricate conversation with him and basically I've decided him and I are going to be best buddies...even if he was my dad's age and was taken aback by my incredible excessiveness of friendliness.
Classes continue to go on and life continues to pass by here. I am definitely learning day by day the worth of my family and how much I love my life in the states. What I'm missing the most right now is a big hug from my dad, a series of kisses from my mom, and the excited look on my darling sister's face. I suppose I miss the feeling of being loved while I sit here in Granada, nervous about going back to the evil woman with whom I will be living for the next 3 months and 3 weeks. (Hopefully some day I will be able to feel bad for having judged her too quickly...)
With much love,
A loveless me
On a brighter note, I went to the beach this weekend! I think it's one of the nicest, most beach like experiences I've ever had! Anytime I've gone to the beach with my family it's somehow been rainy or dirty or something or another. Not this time! The Mediteranean was absolutely beautiuful...no seaweed, crystal blue, and very very cold. I've uploaded pictures on my picasa page so check them out!
http://picasaweb.google.com/howdyimamen
Also, I spent my first Friday night out until 2 AM! No no, I didn't do anything crazy. We just ate ice cream, walked around, had some tapas, and went and talked at a tea room where I had a cup of PAKISTANI TEA! I miss tea so much here...and I really miss seeing people that are brown like me. Even in Arkansas there were more of us than there are here. Good news is that I found a random Pakistani man working in a shop and I had a long intricate conversation with him and basically I've decided him and I are going to be best buddies...even if he was my dad's age and was taken aback by my incredible excessiveness of friendliness.
Classes continue to go on and life continues to pass by here. I am definitely learning day by day the worth of my family and how much I love my life in the states. What I'm missing the most right now is a big hug from my dad, a series of kisses from my mom, and the excited look on my darling sister's face. I suppose I miss the feeling of being loved while I sit here in Granada, nervous about going back to the evil woman with whom I will be living for the next 3 months and 3 weeks. (Hopefully some day I will be able to feel bad for having judged her too quickly...)
With much love,
A loveless me
Friday, September 5, 2008
There's People Screaming And I Don't Know Why!
Hola all!
So it's another day in Espana and slowly I feel myself settling in. I like it here, don't get me wrong. The people are absolutely beautiful (and I kid you not...everyone here is gorgeous) and my Spanish is improving poco a poco (little by little) everyday.
The thing that I've realized after being here is that however lousy and small and lacking in entertainment Fayetteville might be...it's home. It's where the people I love the most are. It's where I am able to recognize where I am even while being lost. It's where I know where I can find the cheapest tube of superglue. It's HOME. People say that studying abroad is a growing up experience and it seems like I've been having a lot of those in college. I feel myself realizing just how valuabe the people around me are and I just want to let you all know that I LOVE YOU SOOOOOOO MUCH. While being here I enjoy the fact that there is amazing ice cream or that I can walk everywhere I want to go, but I find an enire part of my heart empty. While enjoying myself there is a sad undertone behind everything I do as I realize that those that I love the most are not here enjoying themselves with me.
My train of thought usually goes..."Wow, this ice cream is amazing...I bet Ifrah (my sister) would love to be here to have some of this stuff!" It's as though there is literally always an ache in my chest for the company of those that I love. I don't want anybody to get the wrong idea. I don't sit here in depression crying everyday to go back home. It's nothing of that sort...it's just the fact that I have been blessed with such a full life with an amazing family and great friends that...well...my standards for "happiness" are really high. I've been so used to being full to the brim with joy that now even though I'm still happy, the fact that it is not happy with all of my being is hard to bear.
Tomorrow, something crazy happened at my senora's house. Her granddaughter is 21 years old and has a 2 year old child. The 21 year old granddaughter was visiting with her mother and child. As soon as I sat down on the sofa in the living room, the granddaughter comes in to the room screaming with some random object in her hand. Before I knew it, everyone was screaming and crying and I understood..NOTHING. I just watched in horror trying to get some idea of what was going on...but of course, people talk fast when angry and my Spanish mind is very slow. Finally, I got up and left. I came to find out that the granddaughter was holding a pregnancy test in her hand and was screaming and crying because it was negative. Apparently at the young age of 21, one child isn't enough for her! She wants another one...and the reason for this, "Because babies are cute!" All I have to say to that is baby dolls are cute too and they are cheap and less hassle to care for...I could even buy one for her at the nearest toy store. Dear me...21 and wanting another kid...PLUS she nor her boyfriend (or partner because they aren't married) have jobs. What a great idea right?
Anyways, nothing special happened yesterday. Tonight I'm going to go out to get some tapas (small Spanish snacks) with some friends. Someone told me they saw a Pakistani tea room and that sounds like a good way to meet some local motherland Pakistanis. I swear, I've been hunting these people down like crazy! They aren't anywhere to be found. On Sunday I think we'll go to the beach. Please keep commenting. I miss you lots!
With lots of love,
A I'm glad it's finally Friday me
So it's another day in Espana and slowly I feel myself settling in. I like it here, don't get me wrong. The people are absolutely beautiful (and I kid you not...everyone here is gorgeous) and my Spanish is improving poco a poco (little by little) everyday.
The thing that I've realized after being here is that however lousy and small and lacking in entertainment Fayetteville might be...it's home. It's where the people I love the most are. It's where I am able to recognize where I am even while being lost. It's where I know where I can find the cheapest tube of superglue. It's HOME. People say that studying abroad is a growing up experience and it seems like I've been having a lot of those in college. I feel myself realizing just how valuabe the people around me are and I just want to let you all know that I LOVE YOU SOOOOOOO MUCH. While being here I enjoy the fact that there is amazing ice cream or that I can walk everywhere I want to go, but I find an enire part of my heart empty. While enjoying myself there is a sad undertone behind everything I do as I realize that those that I love the most are not here enjoying themselves with me.
My train of thought usually goes..."Wow, this ice cream is amazing...I bet Ifrah (my sister) would love to be here to have some of this stuff!" It's as though there is literally always an ache in my chest for the company of those that I love. I don't want anybody to get the wrong idea. I don't sit here in depression crying everyday to go back home. It's nothing of that sort...it's just the fact that I have been blessed with such a full life with an amazing family and great friends that...well...my standards for "happiness" are really high. I've been so used to being full to the brim with joy that now even though I'm still happy, the fact that it is not happy with all of my being is hard to bear.
Tomorrow, something crazy happened at my senora's house. Her granddaughter is 21 years old and has a 2 year old child. The 21 year old granddaughter was visiting with her mother and child. As soon as I sat down on the sofa in the living room, the granddaughter comes in to the room screaming with some random object in her hand. Before I knew it, everyone was screaming and crying and I understood..NOTHING. I just watched in horror trying to get some idea of what was going on...but of course, people talk fast when angry and my Spanish mind is very slow. Finally, I got up and left. I came to find out that the granddaughter was holding a pregnancy test in her hand and was screaming and crying because it was negative. Apparently at the young age of 21, one child isn't enough for her! She wants another one...and the reason for this, "Because babies are cute!" All I have to say to that is baby dolls are cute too and they are cheap and less hassle to care for...I could even buy one for her at the nearest toy store. Dear me...21 and wanting another kid...PLUS she nor her boyfriend (or partner because they aren't married) have jobs. What a great idea right?
Anyways, nothing special happened yesterday. Tonight I'm going to go out to get some tapas (small Spanish snacks) with some friends. Someone told me they saw a Pakistani tea room and that sounds like a good way to meet some local motherland Pakistanis. I swear, I've been hunting these people down like crazy! They aren't anywhere to be found. On Sunday I think we'll go to the beach. Please keep commenting. I miss you lots!
With lots of love,
A I'm glad it's finally Friday me
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Oh Dear My Legs Hurt!
Hola All!
I hope things are going well for you wherever you might be. Yesterday ISA didn't have anything planned for us so Kelly, Neha, Jessica, and me decided to go wandering through Granada together. We met at the Plaza de Isabela Catholica and just randomly turned down alleys for about 2 hours. Kelly and Neha had to go back but Jessica and I continued on the venture. Let me tell you something...after about 3 hours of walking my legs hurt and still hurt now! Jessica and I ventured through the Moorish shops up through an alley of tea cafes. It was absolutely amazing. Of course I'm fasting so I couldn't have anything. We even saw a sign that read "Feliz Ramadan" or Happy Ramadan. It was a shop that was selling treats for aftari for all the Moroccans here in Granada. We finally sat on a bench and talked for about 2 hours. By that time, it was time for my fast to open so I got to get ice cream from the most AMAZING ice cream store in the world. I had guava and mint chocolate chip. I know...quite the combination, but it was wonderful. I finally went back where my senora had prepared an amazing dinner for me...it was kebabs, green beans with broccoli, mushrooms, and peppers, and tomatoes with olive oil and freshly made cheese. I loved it!
It's still so hard to be here. I miss my family horribly and I miss Tanvi A LOT as well. It's especially hard without her because she's really like a sister to me and I don't think I can find a friend that wonderful anywhere even if I try. I'm just trying to take this experience one step at a time and look at everything with a positive outlook. It's definitely difficult and the homesickness eats me alive sometimes to where I start crying, but then I remember that I'm so blessed to have this opportunity and I put myself together and try to get through it. I must admit however that every day I getting more and more confident at using my Spanish. My vocabulary is definitely not where it needs to be but inshallah that will improve.
Today I even went to a bank to get my money changed. The man that worked there said that I had great Spanish! Well...I don't know if he was just trying to make small talk, but it did give me a little spring in my step if you know what I mean :-P.
My classes are definitely teaching me a lot. It's great that we don't get tons of homework, but the material is definitely new to me. These teachers are trying to explain Spanish to us in well...Spanish (imagine that!, hahahaha) The thing is that my teachers have always been able to translate things for me for how they work in the English language and it's hard not to have that type of explanation anymore.
Everyone is great here. The girls have become even closer after coming here because we're all so confused with everything at this point. I'm missing my family so much! Also, a person is acting in a way that is really disappointing to me back home. I wish that I had seen this coming but I definitely had not...I don't think anyone had. *sigh* I just wish I could be home right now.
On the positive side, however, I am excited that my Spanish is improving and that however little it might be, my experience here is becoming gradually better. It's getting easier and easier to fast and I've figured out a strategy to avoid getting dehydrated.
Please continue to comment because it gives me tons of encouragement. I love you all and miss you OODLES! I can't wait to see everyone again...especially at this point :(.
OH plus I've finally uploaded all of my pictures with captions. I couldn't get facebook to work so I did it on picasa. I added captions and everything so you all could know what was going on. Please comment on the pictures too because I love reading them! Here's the link:
http://picasaweb.google.com/howdyimamen
With much love,
A still homesick me
I hope things are going well for you wherever you might be. Yesterday ISA didn't have anything planned for us so Kelly, Neha, Jessica, and me decided to go wandering through Granada together. We met at the Plaza de Isabela Catholica and just randomly turned down alleys for about 2 hours. Kelly and Neha had to go back but Jessica and I continued on the venture. Let me tell you something...after about 3 hours of walking my legs hurt and still hurt now! Jessica and I ventured through the Moorish shops up through an alley of tea cafes. It was absolutely amazing. Of course I'm fasting so I couldn't have anything. We even saw a sign that read "Feliz Ramadan" or Happy Ramadan. It was a shop that was selling treats for aftari for all the Moroccans here in Granada. We finally sat on a bench and talked for about 2 hours. By that time, it was time for my fast to open so I got to get ice cream from the most AMAZING ice cream store in the world. I had guava and mint chocolate chip. I know...quite the combination, but it was wonderful. I finally went back where my senora had prepared an amazing dinner for me...it was kebabs, green beans with broccoli, mushrooms, and peppers, and tomatoes with olive oil and freshly made cheese. I loved it!
It's still so hard to be here. I miss my family horribly and I miss Tanvi A LOT as well. It's especially hard without her because she's really like a sister to me and I don't think I can find a friend that wonderful anywhere even if I try. I'm just trying to take this experience one step at a time and look at everything with a positive outlook. It's definitely difficult and the homesickness eats me alive sometimes to where I start crying, but then I remember that I'm so blessed to have this opportunity and I put myself together and try to get through it. I must admit however that every day I getting more and more confident at using my Spanish. My vocabulary is definitely not where it needs to be but inshallah that will improve.
Today I even went to a bank to get my money changed. The man that worked there said that I had great Spanish! Well...I don't know if he was just trying to make small talk, but it did give me a little spring in my step if you know what I mean :-P.
My classes are definitely teaching me a lot. It's great that we don't get tons of homework, but the material is definitely new to me. These teachers are trying to explain Spanish to us in well...Spanish (imagine that!, hahahaha) The thing is that my teachers have always been able to translate things for me for how they work in the English language and it's hard not to have that type of explanation anymore.
Everyone is great here. The girls have become even closer after coming here because we're all so confused with everything at this point. I'm missing my family so much! Also, a person is acting in a way that is really disappointing to me back home. I wish that I had seen this coming but I definitely had not...I don't think anyone had. *sigh* I just wish I could be home right now.
On the positive side, however, I am excited that my Spanish is improving and that however little it might be, my experience here is becoming gradually better. It's getting easier and easier to fast and I've figured out a strategy to avoid getting dehydrated.
Please continue to comment because it gives me tons of encouragement. I love you all and miss you OODLES! I can't wait to see everyone again...especially at this point :(.
OH plus I've finally uploaded all of my pictures with captions. I couldn't get facebook to work so I did it on picasa. I added captions and everything so you all could know what was going on. Please comment on the pictures too because I love reading them! Here's the link:
http://picasaweb.google.com/howdyimamen
With much love,
A still homesick me
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
The Flamenco Experience
Yesterday, I went and saw the first flamenco show of my life. It was one of the most beautiful art forms I have yet to see. The women defined femininity. It amazed me how they could dance with such a fixed intense gaze at the audience while moving their feet at speeds unimaginable. I was completely taken aback by the whole thing. I expected it to be amazing, but it was more than that...it was almost a spiritual experience in its own right. Not to venture too much into the realm of being "hippie like" :-P, these women danced with their eyes half of the time towards the audience, and the other half looking to the sky as if they were getting the power that fueled their movement from above. The fact that the dance is set in a cave draws you even closer to the performers, making it an experience that cannot be described in words.
I realized today that it has been exactly a week since I've been here in Spain...and 3 days that I've been here in Granada. To me it has seemed as though months have gone by...I cannot believe that I still have 4 months to go. Every day I must admit that my Spanish does improve, but I still continue to feel lost amidst the Spanish people. I know that I should give it time, and that I will. I can't help but to feel lost, however, as I try to find the wonderful, full of fun experience that everyone describes after coming back from studying abroad.
Class was much better today as well. The professor that asked me if I had a hang over was much nicer today. Also, I learned a rule of the Spanish language in which one chooses what verb tense to use based on the effect that the action has had on his or her life. I found it to be incredibly beautiful! When we learn English (or in my case English and Urdu) it comes so easily by practice that we never think about how our very grammar is accentuating our feelings. The beauty and power of linguistics continues to surprise me.
I am planning on going to the beach Nerja with some people this weekend. I hope things work out. Also, I'm trying to get something worked out on picassa web albums so everyone can see my pictures. I'll post that link as soon as possible.
I'm missing you all tons.
Much love,
A linguistically amazed me
I realized today that it has been exactly a week since I've been here in Spain...and 3 days that I've been here in Granada. To me it has seemed as though months have gone by...I cannot believe that I still have 4 months to go. Every day I must admit that my Spanish does improve, but I still continue to feel lost amidst the Spanish people. I know that I should give it time, and that I will. I can't help but to feel lost, however, as I try to find the wonderful, full of fun experience that everyone describes after coming back from studying abroad.
Class was much better today as well. The professor that asked me if I had a hang over was much nicer today. Also, I learned a rule of the Spanish language in which one chooses what verb tense to use based on the effect that the action has had on his or her life. I found it to be incredibly beautiful! When we learn English (or in my case English and Urdu) it comes so easily by practice that we never think about how our very grammar is accentuating our feelings. The beauty and power of linguistics continues to surprise me.
I am planning on going to the beach Nerja with some people this weekend. I hope things work out. Also, I'm trying to get something worked out on picassa web albums so everyone can see my pictures. I'll post that link as soon as possible.
I'm missing you all tons.
Much love,
A linguistically amazed me
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
My first few days in Spain...
I arrived with the ISA group in Granada on Sunday. Today it is Tuesday, 3 days later, and I still continue to feel as lost as ever. I was expecting to feel out of place, confused, and homesick...but this...this was definitely not what I was expecting to encounter.
I am living with a host mother...it is only me and her in the house and while she is an absolutely amazing cook and a wonderful person, I cannot understand more than 40 to 50% of what is being said to me. I feel as though I have been thrown into a large Spanish frying pan and anywhere I turn I am being boiled in a confusing mess of espanol. I do not have a roommate which makes the experience less tolerable. Mama and Baba are constantly telling me that it will get better but as I sit here right now trying to think of ideas to make myself feel less homesick and more at home here, I keep running into closed doors. I have no idea how and WHEN my Spanish is going to improve, but I can just pray that it does.
I had thought that I would walk to the main mosque or mezquita here in Granada...little did I know that a walk to the mezquita de Granada was going to take me 1 hour and 30 minutes to complete...one way! Now pair this with my first fast of Ramadan, the burning sun at noon in Granada, and you get a very tired me. I definitely will not be able to go to this mosque during Ramadan as I had hoped but a man that was there told me about a mosque that might be a little bit closer to where I live. The thing is that I was hoping to meet Muslims my age at the mosque...when I got there I found only 3 or 4 people there. *sigh* Also, the university will not start for the Spaniards until October so I guess I should just wait it out and try to supress my inner voice that is telling me to get on the first flight to Fayetteville, Arkansas.
Also, today was my first day of classes. I'm taking one class at the moment that is an intensive language course that will last from 9 AM to 1:00 PM every day. Even my classes are confusing me. The teachers are speaking with an accent I've never heard before. Also, it's the first time in my life that I have had no syllabus for the course and have had to try to understand how I will be graded in Spanish. The teachers here are definitely less formal (dress in jeans all the time) and much less prepared than the teachers in America. I asked so many questions today, that one of my teachers (I have 2...1 that teaches the first 2 hours and another that teaches the other 2 hours) asked me if I had a hangover! ME, the girl that doesn't drink, with a HANGOVER?!?!
That's another thing....there is alcohol and ham EVERYWHERE here. This is definitely the land that kicked out the Muslims.
All in all, my experience is not the best right now. I'm definitely homesick and struggling to find friends. The girls in the program here are great but no one lives close to where I live. Now we've all been separated into different classes and I only know 3 other girls in my class. Everything is just not going the way that it should be going. Please pray that things get better, my fasting becomes easier, and I figure out this SPANISH business.
With love to all,
A homesick me
PS: I will be seeing my first flamenco performance today. I'm excited about that! I've been trying to put pictures on facebook but it hasn't been working. I don't have internet access in my home and I have to walk 30 minutes to get to the CLM where I have classes and more importantly...where I have internet. The thing is that it closes at 7 so my access is very limited. I'll try to write on this blog as much as possible though. Please comment because it'll make me feel oodles better!
I am living with a host mother...it is only me and her in the house and while she is an absolutely amazing cook and a wonderful person, I cannot understand more than 40 to 50% of what is being said to me. I feel as though I have been thrown into a large Spanish frying pan and anywhere I turn I am being boiled in a confusing mess of espanol. I do not have a roommate which makes the experience less tolerable. Mama and Baba are constantly telling me that it will get better but as I sit here right now trying to think of ideas to make myself feel less homesick and more at home here, I keep running into closed doors. I have no idea how and WHEN my Spanish is going to improve, but I can just pray that it does.
I had thought that I would walk to the main mosque or mezquita here in Granada...little did I know that a walk to the mezquita de Granada was going to take me 1 hour and 30 minutes to complete...one way! Now pair this with my first fast of Ramadan, the burning sun at noon in Granada, and you get a very tired me. I definitely will not be able to go to this mosque during Ramadan as I had hoped but a man that was there told me about a mosque that might be a little bit closer to where I live. The thing is that I was hoping to meet Muslims my age at the mosque...when I got there I found only 3 or 4 people there. *sigh* Also, the university will not start for the Spaniards until October so I guess I should just wait it out and try to supress my inner voice that is telling me to get on the first flight to Fayetteville, Arkansas.
Also, today was my first day of classes. I'm taking one class at the moment that is an intensive language course that will last from 9 AM to 1:00 PM every day. Even my classes are confusing me. The teachers are speaking with an accent I've never heard before. Also, it's the first time in my life that I have had no syllabus for the course and have had to try to understand how I will be graded in Spanish. The teachers here are definitely less formal (dress in jeans all the time) and much less prepared than the teachers in America. I asked so many questions today, that one of my teachers (I have 2...1 that teaches the first 2 hours and another that teaches the other 2 hours) asked me if I had a hangover! ME, the girl that doesn't drink, with a HANGOVER?!?!
That's another thing....there is alcohol and ham EVERYWHERE here. This is definitely the land that kicked out the Muslims.
All in all, my experience is not the best right now. I'm definitely homesick and struggling to find friends. The girls in the program here are great but no one lives close to where I live. Now we've all been separated into different classes and I only know 3 other girls in my class. Everything is just not going the way that it should be going. Please pray that things get better, my fasting becomes easier, and I figure out this SPANISH business.
With love to all,
A homesick me
PS: I will be seeing my first flamenco performance today. I'm excited about that! I've been trying to put pictures on facebook but it hasn't been working. I don't have internet access in my home and I have to walk 30 minutes to get to the CLM where I have classes and more importantly...where I have internet. The thing is that it closes at 7 so my access is very limited. I'll try to write on this blog as much as possible though. Please comment because it'll make me feel oodles better!
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