A Little Bit of This and a Little Bit of That

Hola Everyone!

Before I say anything else, I just want to give every single one of you a huge hug and a big kiss on the cheek for all of the incredibly comforting e-mails and comments. I do not think you can imagine how the words you send brighten my day everytime they are received. You I realize that even though a large part of me is incredibly envious of the girls around me that are enjoying every minute of their Spanish experience without looking back at the life they left behind, I feel incredibly grateful that I left behind a life full of such incredible people that I cannot but help and miss it regardless of the fact that I'm in Spain. So I guess before I talk about anything else, all I have to say is a huge thank you. Thank you for giving me something in my life to miss.

I think the biggest problem that I'm having is that I'm trying too hard...I want to have Spanish friends, I want to be out seeing everything and anything, I want to form a friendship halfway across the world that will last forever...I just need to sit back and let life pass me by...something, unfortunately, that I've never been very good at doing. It bothers me that perhaps I will have to leave here not missing anything that I leave behind, but to worry about the fact that I will still be miserable for the next 3 months will do nothing but act as a self fulfilling prophecy. I'm not sure what it is that God is trying to show me through this experience...why it is that anytime I go to the mosque, I find it empty of people...why it is that somehow I'm the only one in the ISA group that has not managed to forge friendships with the locals...but I know that there is something incredibly enlightening to learn from all of this. The problem is that I'm having trouble learning it. What I need to do is sit back and not look for it. Let it come to me.

This weekend I went with a group of girls to Malaga. It was an incredibly beautiful city! I kind of wished that I had gone there to study abroad...the beach was incredible and the whole city had a very casual feel to it. We had tons of fun hanging out on the beach, eating at one of the most amazing restaurants I've ever eaten at, and I must admit that I even had fun walking up the freaking side of a mountain to get a beautiful view of the city of Malaga.

One thing that I am majorly annoyed by in Spain is the men. For some reason, their mothers didn't teach them any manners. I cannot count the times that I am whistled at, invited to dinner, and called "morena guapa" (translation: morena: someone that has dark skin and hair; guapa: good looking/beautiful) It might be slightly flattering the first time but after that you realize that it is not done to compliment you...it's done because the men here are disgusting and have nothing to do but stare at women and pass vulgar comments. I have gotten to a point where I can turn my ears off to their nonsense, but it still continues to annoy me...MUCHO.

A positive experience in my struggle to find my place in Spain is that upon arriving in Granda from a weekend in Malaga I felt the same feeling that I feel when I return home from a trip. It was the feeling of comfort and relief to be "back home". At that moment I realized that I really am living my life here...I'm not just a tourist for 4 months...this is "home" for me. Granada is the city where I am slowly beginning to recognize the people in the neighborhood where I live...it is the place where I walk past the same buildings and shops everyday...it is the city where I can walk through the street with every step becoming increasingly more confident at knowing its way around.

Today I met with the Spanish girls that I met in the intercambios. They are girls that are much quieter than I am, but they are both very sweet. I joined them and some other girls from the ISA group while they had lunch and we walked around Granada, stopping in some cute clothing stores, and finally stopping for them to get ice cream. Of course it was difficult to be fasting and see the ice cream in front of me, but not to worry! I will go back and get some at sunset :D.

I will be leaving for my trip to Paris, Geneva, Interlaken, Rome, and Venice in approximately 48 hours! I am so very excited!!! While it is true that I haven't spent a lot of time with Andrea, Angela, and Kyla (the 3 girls I'll be going with), the little time that we have spent together has confirmed the fact that they are three wonderful girls with whom I'll be having one of the greatest experiences of my life. I hope that we see it all and that when it's all over I can look back at it and realize that it happened in reality and that it was not a dream.

After we get back from this 10 day trip, we will be leaving for Morrocco within 2 days. The Morrocco trip is one that I am the most excited for! The way the ISA directors were describing it, it seems to be another version of Pakistan (which I adore). Also, we will be doing amazing things like sleeping in the desert, able to see the twinkling of every star that has always been hidden behind the sheen of city lights. We will be waking up early to ride camels to see the sunrise over rolling sand dunes. Needless to say that the experience will be one to remember!

Before all of this I have to do a presentation in Spanish, write a 600 word essay (in Spanish as well), and most importantly and most stressful figure out how I will complete my SURF research grant proposal, sitting here halfway across the world. Please keep commenting.

With much love,
A stressed out me